What To Do If You Suspect Your Manager Hates You
Are you facing a situation where your boss has suddenly stopped greeting you or sharing relevant project details with you? Has it been a while since your last promotion or salary review? Do you feel that you have suddenly fallen out of favor with your boss? These kinds of situations may be a severe blow to your ego and engagement. They can hit so hard that you might lock yourself in denial and pretend everything is still ok. Listed below are some of the signs that all is not well with strategies to address.
- You alone are micromanaged
Previously your boss used to hand over assignments to you and allowed you to handle them on your own without any issue. But now, he seems to be finding fault with whatever you do and makes you feel that nothing you do is right. There are circumstances which vary and every boss is indeed different. But if your manager is micromanaging you to the extent of absurdity, it may be because he or she no longer trusts you to perform even the simplest of tasks. This is a dysfunctional situation where your manager treats you like an incompetent employee, and you begin to grow more and more resentful and dread coming to work every day.
The reactive solution to this issue is to quit and seek another job. But in case that is not an option, you need to discuss openly and honestly with your boss. You can suggest a weekly one on one meeting to stop your boss from hovering over your head multiple times during the day. Without sounding offensive and confrontational, you need to convey to your boss that you wish to do a good job and excel at it. However, you feel that you need a little space and independence to do so.
- The opposite of love is indifference
This problem is quite the opposite of micromanagement. In this situation, you face an indifferent attitude from your boss. If you are constantly at the receiving end of a cold shoulder treatment by your manager, it’s not fun for sure.
You may always find your manager making some time for his favorites without any problems. But it is only when you try to block his or her time, he or she never seems to have the bandwidth. You may find that despite weekly scheduling one on one meetings with your boss, these meetings seem to get canceled or re-scheduled at the last moment. The worst part may be when your manager altogether forgets that you had a meeting scheduled. So if you see this as a recurring problem with your manager, itr appears there is an issue with you.
If you notice that this has turned out to be a recurring issue, instead of mailing your manager, look out for an opportunity and walk in confidently into their bandwidth. Stress on the fact that you need to discuss something important. You can say something like: “I know you are quite busy right now, but it seems we are having some issues scheduling meetings recently and I would like to speak to you, as I value your guidance and inputs. So can I have a few minutes of your time?”
- Continually left out of meetings
You realize that you are sitting in your cubicle and everyone suddenly rises and heads to the conference room. You check your mail and realise that you have nothing scheduled and did not receive any last minute meeting invites. On asking your colleagues where everyone is headed, you find out that your manager has called for a project meeting and you’re excluded. There may be two reasons. One that your manager may have genuinely forgotten to share the invite with you, or two, that you have been excluded on purpose. Either of these situations is not a good sign for you.
Approach your manager directly and at the earliest if such an incident has occurred and ask upfront if there’s an issue. It may be that your manager has genuinely forgotten to invite you. So it is best that you do not sound confrontational and emotional about what just happened. But in case you find out that it has been intentional, you need to be firm with your boss and try to understand the problem. You need to stress on the fact that you won’t be able to perform effectively if you are excluded from important and relevant project discussions and updates.
- Being Ignored and Insulted During Meetings
Team meetings or brainstorming sessions are places where nobody is being judged, and everyone is free to express their ideas openly. But if you have been feeling that all your inputs are met with ridicule, scorn, and dismissal from your manager, then you need to accept that something is not just right. If you feel you are ignored on purpose and not allowed to share your opinions and inputs during these sessions, then it is indeed a problem that needs immediate attention.
Some managers are not that great with people or have great social skills. So it may be that he or she may not even realise that they are behaving in a certain manner. This may be a tricky situation for you, because if you come across as a complaining individual to your manager, then you are going to be looked upon as a whiner. There is always an opportunity to be smart and savvy without sounding too pushy. You need to seek that middle ground in such a situation. Convey to your manager that you may have some brilliant ideas, but you have not been getting that opportunity to voice it.
- Always Receiving Negative Feedback
If you are just receiving negative feedback from your manager, then this is no feedback in the real sense of the term. If you are consistently working and yet getting no feedback or only negative feedback from your manager, it simply means that your boss does not consider you to be a valuable team member and hence does not care what you do.
If you have found an alternative job, then you can certainly resign. However, if you need this job and wish to stay, then you need to take matters into your own hands. You can shoot a mail to your manager and specifically ask for feedback stating that you wish to improve your performance. Frame your mail in such a manner that it projects your eagerness to evolve and improve. Also, it serves as a written proof that you are doing your part, just in case you are on the verge of termination and HR is being involved in the matter.
- Assigned boring tasks with no impact, nobody wants
When you feel that despite your sharpness, skill, and experience, your manager treats you like an intern and hand out only menial tasks to you. You may face a situation where despite being hard working, all your efforts are being wasted on menial jobs because your manager has chosen you to be the punching bag.
If you do not wish to quit your job and do not wish to be continued to be treated as an intern, you need to take some serious action. In situations like this, you need to brag about your great work and support it with specific examples which support your claims. Reach out to your manager and present a list of your accomplishments and ask for additional responsibilities. You may even pitch a new idea or project to your manager and share your keenness to have the opportunity to pursue it. Maybe you will still have to continue doing some menial jobs, but you need to create a big enough impression for you to get promoted and move up.
Despite all the signs, you need to understand that every boss is different and no two situations are similar. The advice shared in this article may not apply to everyone alike. This is just a guideline for you in case you are in doubt, and you need to know if any of these signals apply to you. The fact is nobody likes to admit that they are not liked, and hence they tend to pretend as if everything is fine. However, the sooner you realise that you could be in a bad situation with your manager, the faster you can decide whether to quit or to confront your manager in the hope of improving your situation and future!