48 Funny and Inspirational Workplace Quotes - EmployeeConnect
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funny workplace quotes

48 Funny and Inspirational Workplace Quotes

Workplace humour has a way of connecting people, building rapport, alleviating tension and building a positive culture. That humorous exchange of jokes, memes and posts has a motivational & inspirational effect that makes people happy. When people are happy, they look forward to work. They enjoy the casual banter with their peers.  They are engaged. In fact, workplace fun is a clear driver of engagement that ultimately improves productivity and work performance. As a manager, it’s your responsibility to create a vibrant workplace atmosphere where employees share their happy, sad & humorous moments.

As you read through these funny work quotes, you will realise that these inspirational and encouraging quotes often reflect a brutally honest reality.  So read on, squeeze the stress-ball and have a chuckle!

  1. ‘Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.’ – Napoleon Bonaparte
  2. ‘It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.’ – Muhammad Ali
  3. I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around. – Homer Simpson
  4. ‘Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? – Edgar Bergen
  5. ‘Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. – Drew Carey
  6. ‘Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels’ –Unknown
  7. ‘What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.’- Phyllis Diller
  8. ‘The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.’ –Robert Frost
  9. ‘The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.’ Denise Miller
  10. ‘Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?’ – J. Paul Getty
  11. ‘Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.’ – Homer Simpson
  12. ‘Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.’ –Pablo Picass0
  13. ‘Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?’ – Steve Jobs
  14. ‘Failure is not an option-it comes bundled with the software.’ – Unknown
  15. ‘The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.’ – Joseph Stilwell
  16. ‘Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it.’ – Andrew Young
  17. There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?’ – Kin Hubbard
  18. There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.’ – David Letterman
  19. There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.’  – Peter Drucker
  20. ‘By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.’ – Robert Frost
  21. ‘Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.’ – Doug Larson
  22. ‘Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it half-assed. That’s the American way. – Homer Simpson
  23. ‘Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.’ – TS Eliot
  24. ‘If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.’ – Benjamin Franklin
  25. ‘Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.’ – George Burns
  26. ‘Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.’ – Unkmown
  27. ‘If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.’ – Quentin Crisp
  28. ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try management.’ – Unknown 
  29. ‘Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.’ – Dilbert
  30. ‘Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes. – Lewis Grizzard
  31. ‘The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. – Oscar Wilde
  32. ‘All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.’ – Aristotle
  33. ‘Beware of any enterprise requiring new clothes.’ – Henry Thoreau
  34. ‘Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.’ – Unknown
  35. ‘Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.’ – The Office
  36. ‘Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful.’ – Benjamin Disraeli
  37. ‘You never become a howling success by just howling.’ – Bob Harrington
  38. ‘Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.’ – Joseph Heller
  39. ‘Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.’ – Savielly Tartakower
  40. ‘Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.’ – Earl Wilson
  41. ‘I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.’ – Franklin D. Roosevelt
  42. ‘Make sure you have a vice president in charge of your revolution, to engender ferment among your more conventional colleagues.’ – David Ogilvy
  43. ‘One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.’ – Bertrand Russel
  44. ‘I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.’- Bill Gates
  45. ‘Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.’ – Rita Mae Brown
  46. ‘If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.’ – Woody Allen
  47. ‘I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.’ – Abraham Maslow
  48. ‘The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labour.’ – Wernher von Braun
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